


Queen Group Chats

by CrazyEyebrows



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, Queen (Band)
Genre: Drag, Group chat, M/M, Mild Language, Older Characters, Other, The 1980s but its 2019 but also actual 2019, This Is STUPID, stupid jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-10-08 09:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyEyebrows/pseuds/CrazyEyebrows
Summary: I swear I did this forever agoI'll continuously update this even after all of the archived fics are downthese are mostly just little things i've shit out as soon as i thought of them, nothing to take seriously.queen/borhap Group Chatsthe relationships may be touched upon or mentioned but dont play a huge role in most/any of the stories.





	1. Borhap

**12:30 AM**

Joe: guys

  
Joe: youll never guess what just happened.   
  
Joe: hurry n answer its important   
  
**12:35 AM**   
  
Gwil: You got into a car crash and are dying? If not I have some constructive criticism on you messaging the chat at 6 in the bloody morn.   
  
Joe: they brought back the double chocolate chip ice cream ben likes   
  
Joe: :D   
  
Ben: ! somebody stop him before he buys me the entire stock !   
  
Rami: I will pay you $10 to buy him the entire stock.   
  
Joe: :)   
  
Ben: :(   
  
Gwil: im going back to sleep oh my god j hate you   
  
Joe: ily2

  
-   
  
**3:00 PM**   
  
_**Joe** changed **Joe'** s nickname to_: Woman Slayer   
  
_**Gwil** changed **Woman Slayer'** s nickname to:  _ Overrated Twink __  
  
**Overrated Twink** changed **Gwil** 's nickname to:  Literal Cock __  
  
**Ben** changed **Literal Cock** 's nickname to:  Literal Cock Sucker __  
  
Literal Cock Sucker added brianmayforreal into the group!   
  
Ben: oh no   
Overrated Twink: o h n o   
  
\-    
  
**5:00 PM**   
  
Rami: What did I miss?   
  
Literal Cock Sucker: Nothing yet. Soon to be a beating.   
  
Rami: What? Who gets beat? Also, your name??   
  
Ben: Scroll up mate.   
  
Overrated Twink: Rami hide me.   
  
Rami: ...   
  
Rami: Joe I'm so sorry.   
  
Overrated Twink: wow   
  
Bri: Boys?   
  
_Overrated Twink left the group!_   



	2. queen

**4:00 AM**   
  
__**Bri** added **rogertaylorofficial!**   
  
**Bri** added **deaconj**!   
  
**Bri** added **the_queen**!   
  
**Bri** changed the group name to: Wow   
  
Bri: We need to talk.    
  
Bri: First of all.   
__   
**Bri** changed **deaconj** 's nickname to: deacy   
****  
**Bri** changed **the_queen** 's nickname to: fred   
  
**Bri** changed **rogertaylorofficial** 's nickname to: HotHeadedSlobOfAMan   
  
HotHeadedSlobOfAMan: i have a feeling the talk is about me ACCIDENTALLY spilling my cocktail on the couch.   



	3. Borhap

**6:24 PM**  
  
Joe: Okay, names are all back to normal. Better?  
  
 _ **Gwil** changed **Joe** 's nickname to_: Joey  
  
Joey: i hate that  
  
Gwil: Why? I think its cute.  
  
 _ **Gwil** changed **Ben'** s nickname to_: Benjamin  
  
 _ **Gwil** changed **Rami'** s nickname to_: Rammie  
  
Benjamin: two can play that game  
  
 _ **Benjamin** changed **Gwil'** s nickname to_: Gwilliam  
  
Gwilliam: Ben that doesn't even make sense  
  
Benjamin: i think it's cute.  
  
Joey: me too.  
  
Gwilliam: sigh.  
  
-  
 ****  
10:32 PM  
  
Joe: ben  
  
Ben: what  
  
Joe: u gay?  
  
Ben: ... what  
  
Ben: dming u  
  
2:00 AM  
Gwil: Joe this is still the group chat  
  
Gwil: And aren't you two dating?  
  
Ben: we are  
  
Ben: he 'forgot' because 'i dont talk to him'  
  
Joe: its not my fault you live in london.. I forget after 3 business days of not getting held.  
  



	4. queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> u evr just.. break the tv

**9:32 PM**   
  
Bri: John.   
  
Rog: JOHN!   
  
Deacy: yeah guys?   
  
Fred: How com no1 evr shouts MY name like dat 😭😭   
  
Rog:he brokethetelly   
  
Bri: Roger broke the- son of a bitch.   
  
Deacy: who broke it?   
  
Rog: Brian   
  
Bri: Roger   
  
Fred: s brain   
  
Bri: How would you know Fred? You're not even here.   
  
Fred: u swire   
  
Deacy: its okay brian. im coming over   
  
Bri: I didn't fucking break it!!   
  
Fred: im commin 2 get ur bar reddy 🍸🍹   
  
Bri: I DIDNT BREAK IT   
  
Deacy: youre only defensive when you did it   
  
_**Bri** left the group! _   
  
_**Fred** added **brianmayforreal** into the group! _   
  
Fred: can delilah com   
  
Bri:....   
  
Bri: Yeah Fred. Thank you.    



	5. Borhap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i honestly have no idea when why or where this was made but it makes me laugh so please enjoy

**1:00 AM**   
  
Joe: if brian had to chose to between us four to be the dad of, who do you think hed chose?   
  
Joe: roger too   
  
Ben: um... i dunno   
  
Rami: What the fuck guys   
  
Rami: Joe it's like 1 am there   
  
Joe: yeah who do you think theyd chose   
  
Rami: uh   
  
Ben: well obviously brian would chose me and roger would chose you   
  
Joe: haha youre right :)   
  
Rami: What about me?   
  
Ben: are you already a sugar baby to one of them   
  
Rami: ......   
  
Rami: No   
  
Rami: Are... You?   
  
Joe: goddammit ben you pinkie swore :((   
  
Ben: oops :(((   
  
Gwilym: Are you two fucking.. sugar babies   
  
Joe: no   
  
Ben: yes   
  
Ben: i mean no   



	6. :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jajahjaja

**9:00 PM**

  
_**brianmayforreal** added **deaconj** into the group! _   
  
Joe: did you just add a fan account to our family group chat? that shit hurtted man :(   
  
Bri: What? No. I added John.   
  
Ben: :0   
  
Joe: >:0   
  
Rami: :)   
  
Roger: :l   
  
Brian: What's that?   
  
Brian: Are those faces?   
  
Brian: How??   
  
Deaconj: Hey   
  
Joe: s u p   
  
Ben:

__ Typing   
Typing   
Typing   
  
Ben: oh hey didnt think id see you here   
  
John: I hope I didn't interrupt??   
  
Rami: Oh you didnt interrupt anything sir   
  
John: Sir?   
  
Brian: Guys, please.   
  
Gwil: ffuc cant reda schat   
  
Ben: gwil are you ok?   
  
Gwil: drukn as fuUcKKJJJJJ   
  
Ben: omg what   
  
Joe: omg   
  
Rami: Somebody should pick him up before he gets himself hurt   
  
Brian: You and Joe are still in the states? Ben, are you able to?   
  
Ben: rofl im in tokyo   
  
John: Rofl?   
  
Brian: Roger? You?   
  
Ben: it means Rolling On the Floor Laughing   
  
Roger: I'm just about as bad of mate.. saved by autocorrect :)   
  
John: That makes sense! rofl   
  
Brian: Okay John. Guess it's you. I can't drive, legally.   
  
John: What   
  
John: Oh   
  
John: Okay. Where are you?   
  
Gwil: ncksoxssmwldksomfwpfke haaaa cuet bou   
  
Rami: ??? Are you okay???   
  
Gwil: **Sent Their Location**   
  
John: Not far, I can walk.   
**  
9:00 PM**   
  
John: Youll never guess what happened   
  
Joe: he tried to give you a blowie too   
  
Rami: He got hurt   
  
Ben: all the good ones have been taken, really   
  
John: He fell asleep in my lap. I'm still in the car.   
  
Ben: omg rofl   
  
John: Not rofl he's heavy. Reminds me too much of Roger.   
  
Roger: There something wrong with that ?   
  
John: Only when it's been 40 years since I had to carry you out of a bar and thats the thing that reminds me of you. Atleast its not cocaine scares. Anymore.   
  
Roger: Hey I was out of that phase right quick   
  
John: Quick? 20 years!   
  
Roger: Time goes fast when you're high   
  
  
-   
  
**7:00 AM**   
  
Gwil: I hate you.   
  
Joe: me?   
  
Gwil: No. Never you. Ben.   
  
Joe: :D   
  
Ben: D:   
  
Gwil: You let JOHN DEACON have his first impression of me be some gay drunkard?   
  
John: Honestly that was my first impression of Fred so I don't think you're too bad off.   
  
Gwil: Oh, fuck me   
  
John: Yeah that sounds like Freddie too.   
  
Ben: ROFLROFLROFLROFL   
  
Gwil: Oh my god.   
  
Joe: i cnat breathe omg   
  
John: What? Is it something I said?   



	7. Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based off of a conversation from my gc. pls enjoy.

_**Freddie** started a group chat!_   
  
_ Freddie added Roger   
Freddie added John   
_   
Freddie: FUCK ur car song   
  
Roger: this again? thot we already went ovr this lol   
  
John: Oh no   
  
Freddie: FUK. UR. CAR. SONG.   
  
Roger: 🚗💕💕👀 sorry cant hear your hatred of my beautiful song over how hot my car is   
  
John: I   
  
Freddie: i hope u crash it   
  
Roger: its got EVERYTHING an audience could want.   
  
Roger: relatability   
  
Roger: CATCHINESS   
  
Roger: C A R S   
  
Freddie: NOT EVERYONE IS A CAR FUCKER   
  
Roger: ATLEAST THEYRE WILLING TO PLAY IT ON THE BLOODY RADIO   
  
__ Freddie added Brian    
  
Brian: Right, this again.   
  
Brian: The only thing I have to say,   
  
Roger: dont you dare   
  
Brian: My hand on your grease gun   
  
Roger: IVE TAKEN ENOUGH ABUSE   
  
Roger: THE SONGS A HIT NO MATTER WHAT YOU WANKERS THINK

Roger: NOW IM LEAVING. IM NEVER COMING BACK.

John: dont leave roggie

Roger: haha okay john

Freddie: yeah dunt leav rog

Roger: FUCK YOU

Freddie: FUCK YOU

John: guys,,

Roger: I HOPE YOU DIE

John: guys

Freddie: YOU FIRST CUMSLUT

John: freddie

Roger: WOW COMING FROM YOU?? REALLY?????

John: ok guess me and brian arent coming over... with food... and scrabble

Roger: be here in 20

Freddie: make it 15. please

John: on our way :p


	8. Borhap

**9:23 AM**

Joe: holy shit guys

Joe: guess what

Joe: guess

Joe: cmon

Ben: what?

Joe: i got a date tonight.

Gwilym: k

Ben: sweet, dude! 

Joe: whats with the lowercase k Gwil? dont worry, youll always be my favorite girl.

Gwilym: Sorry, I didn't know my typing meant so much to you.

Joe: omg

Joe: Gwil are you jealous

Gwilym: What?? Of course not.

Ben: omg

Joe: omg.

Gwilym: STop that.

Joe: OMG

Joe: wydrn

Gwilym: Wanking it

Ben: too unrealistic you dont like yourself enough to masturbate

Gwilym: ...

Joe: tell us tell us tell us tell us tellus

Gwilym: Eating dinner.

Joe: and????

Gwilym: Scrolling tinder.

Ben: .......

Joe: ..............

Gwilym: See you at 7 on Sunday, Joe.

Joe: FUCK.


	9. Borhap

Blonde Whore: Hey guys

Blonde Whore: Oh god who changed my name

Joe: no idea 

Blonde Whore: joe

Joe: >:3c

Gwilly: Bahahaha what the fuck is that

Gwilly: And what the fuck is my name

Gwilly: How did you change our names without us seeing?

Blonde Whore: mate

Blonde Whore: be honest

Joe: hey FUCK YOU ok >:3c is cute as hell

Blonde Whore: did you get our phones at the oscars or smthn

Joe: no

Joe: course not

Joe: lol

Blonde Whore: aww

Joe: dont aw me

Gwilly: Youre cute, Joe.

Joe: what the fuck? i literally called ben a whore

Blonde Whore: AHA SO YOU ADMIT IT

Gwilly: BAHAHA 

Joe: FUCK

Rami: Please. Please go to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short one hhbabzba

John: Yeah, my uncle basically killed someone for my mom.  
  
Roger: That's fucking crazy!! He must be in the mafia or some shit, right.  
  
John: General Motors but yeah basically. 


	11. Brian and Roger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gunna be 100% and tell you that these were taken directly from conversations with my science nerd baby.

_**RogerTaylorOffical** created a group chat!_

**_RogerTaylorOffical_ ** _changed their nickname to **Rog**_

**_Rog_ ** _added **The_Queen**_

_**Rog** added  **DeaconJ**_

_**Rog** added  **BrianMayForReal**_

The_Queen: hey bb

**_The_Queen_ ** _changed their nickname to **Fred**_

DeaconJ: What's up Rog?

Rog: Right so

BrianMayForReal: Hello. -Bri

Rog: Supernovas are star orgasms

Fred: HELL yea 

DeaconJ: What?

Rog: The star explodes. What do you do when you cum John?

DeaconJ: I.

BrianMayForReal: What the fuck, Roger? -Bri.

Fred: bahahahah hes right luv

BrianMayForReal: I.

BrainMayForReal: I'm too tired for this. -Bri.


	12. Chapter 12

John: So basically right,

John: What I was thinking for this new song

John: I want to add a rhythm guitar in there, not through the entire thing, but a lot of it. I think it could really help build up the sound and add to the lyrics more.

Fred: but see dear look,

Fred: if u add another guitar it wud sound like nyenyenyenye, and THEN the lyrics would get all mucked up yano,

Fred: m already screaming ffs

Brian: No, Freddie, it would be more of a "ninininini, HEY," you know? I get what he means.

Fred: i can hear it in my head brian it does nit sound gud

John: Wh... I'm lost, and it's my song.

Brian: He's right, Fred. It would add onto the lyrics, not push them.

Fred: what do u no abt the lyrics? if it goes nyenyenyenye then NO 1 WILL HEAR ME U DUMASS THATS WUT M SAYIN LOL

Brian: THERE'S OBVIOUSLY GOING TO BE AN ACTUAL RHYTHM TO IT, FRED, I'M NOT JUST GOING TO GO NYENYENYENYENYE. 

Brian: Probably something more like ni ni ninini  nini nini 

Fred: see that sounds better lol

Brian: THANK YOU! That's what I've been TRYING to say!

Roger: uuuhhh... right. k.

John: I... I'll just play it... 


	13. Chapter 13

Brian: ROGER

Brian: GUESS WAHT

Roger: did you finally find your dick? good job! it only took...

Brian: PEOPLE LOVE YOU IN DRAG

Roger: 30 ywhat

Brian: There's a whole tag on Instagram...

Roger: lolol wym.

Brian: #rogerina

Roger: i

Roger: dear god

Brian: Isn't it great?

Roger: i can't believe they gave me such a shitty name. 

Brian: I'm Brianna, Freddie's Melina.

Roger: but they couldn't even give ME a real name?

Roger: like, Regina? Rogina? 

Brian: Sucks to suck.

Roger: i'm telling john you just fucking said that you absolute madlad

Brian: No, don't.


End file.
